The victim personality is a very hard one to deal with, I am not sure what kind of patience one has to possess to be able deal with a person who has this personality. These people tend to consider themselves in situations that they have been found to be the ones to have wronged someone. They turn every situation good or bad into one where they have been victimised/wronged.
CHARACTERISTICS OF A VICTIM PERSONALITY
-They believe that people take advantage of their kindness. They talk about it too.
-They are manipulative and abusive then blame the victim for provoking them.
-They avoid taking responsibility for their life or their deeds and blame other people instead.
-They tend to choose friendships or relationships in which they are treated badly in order to tell the world how unfortunate they are.
Does that ring a bell?
EFFECTS OF POSSESSING THIS PERSONALITY
LAZINESS – you tend to want to manipulate other people into doing things for you. It works for you so much you do not want to do anything for yourself at all. You grow into a lazy human being and you can barely survive on your own because your life depends on other people.
YOU DO NOT LEARN – your personality blocks you from learning from other people because once they correct you or redirect you then they have wronged you. It quickly turns into the blame game, this hinders your growth.
YOU LIVE IN ANGER – you are always angry with someone because they have done something to you, even when they did not. Your energy is always off and the people around you can pick up on it. Guess who is applying for a lonely life?
YOU GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO GET ATTENTION – I recently read a story where someone faked her death just to see whether her ex-boyfriend would love her again. She went to school and told people she had found out that she had cancer and the doctors told her she didn’t have enough time. She went as far as making her skin pale, Lord knows how. It becomes an obsession, one that repels people.
YOU DEVELOP A CRIPPLING DEPENDENCY ON OTHER PEOPLE – you become the person that everyone is trying to avoid because you can barely stand on your own. You are always crying about something or someone and require emotional attention way more than you should. It becomes suffocating for the people around you and they will most probably leave.
You can unlearn this if this is your personality. You however have to start with therapy because all this stems from something you went through. Could be issues of being abandoned in your childhood or simply not getting enough attention. You need to deal with the root of the cause before you can get out of the mentality. It is never too late, you can make a change. CIAO!