Dear John’s Friends

I didn’t get it then but I get it now, men are cowards, most of them really. Just in case you haven’t caught on, you are the ‘most’ of the men I am referring to. You are not only cowards but you are weak too, so fragile my darlings. I would compare you to glass but that would be a compliment, so let’s skip that.

You laughed with me, told me I was the best thing to happen to him and then when she came around you told her the same thing. You all said I should never leave him because this was the happiest you had ever seen him. I wonder if that was because it was his first time dabbling with two women or that was part of the script. The Bible makes women out to be the betrayers of men but look at you, your betrayal shines bright like a diamond. Y’all betray women, men and children, multifaceted betrayal, I have to stan!

I think about that season from time to time and I have tried to find justification for you. I don’t know if it is the humiliation that I felt after finding out that stops me from seeing how your actions where justified or they really aren’t. And then I flip the table, I place each of you at my table and without disappointment none of you survive the trauma. I watch each of you fall apart and your ego bruise like a peach that fell on a tarred road. How did you expect me to survive it?

You are weak! Weak for not being able to call out your friends for the wrong that they do just because he is the one with car. Just because he is the one that is making money and buying the drinks. Just because he holds the key to the job that you want. You are weak for depending on another human being ike that! You are weak for using the excuse that being around someone who behaves a certain way doesn’t mean you are like that too, yet your high morals and standards don’t nudge you to say something.

And don’t get it twisted, this isn’t a masculinity thing, I would say the same thing if it were women too. How dare you hand your life and worth over to someone else just because they are sitting at the high table, stop it. It is unacceptable! Surely it must be tiring to bow down to another human being, if not tiring it certainly is degrading.

I hope today you are different, I hope you learnt your lessons and found your worth. I hope you can stand up and call out the bullshit when you see it, instead of clawing at a friendship that’s filled with lies. I hope you look at women and see a human being that deserves respect instead of a doormat. Finally I hope you can respect yourself enough not to sell your souls for a pint of beer.


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