I hope you are all comfortable on the wooden benches I had carved for you by a young man I met the other day. I hope you agree with me when I say he is pretty talented. He also did this within a week for a few dollars because he needed it for his little sister’s school fees.

Let me not waste too much of your time, your expensive suits and watches tell me that you are always busy. I have seen most of you check your watches at least twice within a minute, makes me wonder what you are in a rush for. It couldn’t be because you want to make sure there is peace, security and stability in Africa because God forbid you make that happen.

I believe part of your ‘objectives, ‘ is to protect and promote human rights. This is very noble of you but at this point I am not sure what human rights are for Africans. Day after day its starting to look like we have a right to hate, a right to poverty, and a right to slavery. On the pieces of paper you have in front of you please be kind enough to list our rights, I would like to update the rest of the Africans.

The most hilarious objective for me, I have to say, is the one that talks about a cohesive Africa. A united Africa, a united Africa, how beautiful. You should all consider a career in comedy, all of you, just one big group of clowns. I promise you could make double what you steal, I meant what you work for every other day. Surely your work is so top notch. Never have I heard of an African attacking another African for simple things like a job. Have you?

All I really wanted to say is thank you! For your time and your work. We, as Africans are headed to a place of riches, peace and unity under your leadership. We love you, so much! Good day, don’t forget to collect your goody bags. CIAO!