Relationships

ARE YOU DATING YOUR PERSON OUT OF PITY?

‘He has nobody else in his life, he really needs someone.’

‘She said she has never known real love, she yearns for it.’

How many times have you fallen in love with the story behind the person and not the person? Your heart throbs and you want to be the person who fixes their problem/s. First of all, you are not the fixer! Secondly, you are setting yourself up for a disaster.

So you are getting with this person because you feel sorry for them and you are hoping to help them get through whatever they are going through, great. Have you ever stopped to think what will happen if you fail at fixing?

Have you ever sat down and thought, I am not happy with this person. I need to leave, then all the stories they told you come back to you. And your mind says, ‘oh you just want to add onto that huh, you just going to be one of those people now?’ Guess who is trapped?

Genuine question, other than their pity party, what else do you like about this person? Are they your ideal person? Whilst you are thinking about that I am going to tell you what is going to happen next.

  1. You are going to realize you really have no power to fix their issues.
  2. You are going to get frustrated with yourself because you made a dumb decision.
  3. You are going to try and figure out how to get out of this, then start feeling bad all over again.
  4. You are going to fault this person for the things you never complained about, a way to frustrate them and ask you to leave. It might work, but if it doesn’t…
  5. You are going to hate yourself for trying to hurt them, then feel sorry for them all over again and STAY.
  6. You are going to come to the realisation that you absolutely don’t like them,and still stay. Or maybe you will leave? Hhhhhmmmm…

All I am saying is if you are in this already then be honest with yourself. It’s not working, it won’t work and your miracle isn’t coming. Before you do more damage, leave.

If you were about to do this. Do not do it, it’s not worth it, AT ALL! Don’t turn yourself into an adult sitter, you will hate life. I love you! CIAO

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3 Comments

  1. Love the post, it so true

  2. Love it, very informative and funny as well. It’s so easy for people to think they are in love than to admit they are just lonely and need a friend.

    1. uBu says:

      Right, desperation for love is another tricky situation to be in. You will take whatever comes!

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