Before we go far I want to make something clear, I noticed that a lot of people confuse being self-aware and being self-conscious. These are two very different things. Being self-aware is being conscious of your character and feelings whilst being self-conscious is when one feels uncomfortably nervous in the presence of other people. Self-conscious people often suffer from anxiety because all they can think about is how the people around them...
Hey there darling, welcome to 2021! I am pumped that you made it into this year, and I hope we will have a wholesome year. 2020 was a hard long year and by the time we hit year-end a lot of us were extremely drained, our mental health was tested greatly last year and it made me realize how intentional we need to be with staying sane. It is not enough for us to just talk the talk on our socials so we sound woke, we need to get into the habit of...
Remember last week when I talked about my fight with anxiety, well I can only imagine that many more are going through it but for different reasons of course. We may not be conscious about it but every day when we wake we are in dread because so much has changed and we were ill-prepared for it. Let's break it down. 1. Prolonged uncertainty: I remember right at the beginning of lockdown we were told it would be for just 3 weeks and yet here we...
Greetings from one people-pleaser to another, welcome to my journey to undo the damage I have done in the past. Dare I say that was the best decision I have ever made for myself . The journey still goes on, I am constantly reminding myself not to fall into the trap. My biggest weakness has been choosing myself, I always thought making other people happy would translate to my happiness. Instead of that what I experienced was unhappiness because...
We called this year 20plenty and it came jam packed with plenty surprises. I, just like you, was never prepared for some of the things that I experienced this year, good or bad. Years ago I would have found myself feeling cursed but this year I think I have learnt to accept the reality that we live in an uncertain world. There is no amount of planning that can save us from whatever the universe has set in place. We have no idea what will happen...
Why are you afraid of your power? Someone once said to me we are not afraid to fail, we are afraid to succeed. I really thought they were crazy for saying that, it made no sense to me. It was only years later, when my cocoon was about break open when I realized how true that was. If a relationship actually worked out then I have to let go of my sad storyline, what will I tell people? Solution: self-sabotage! If the career path I chose turns out...
I was a teen mom and now I'm a young mom, who's ambitions are far beyond someone who has a whole family to look after. After having my daughter at 19, with no clear knowing of myself, I dropped out of 2nd year... All because I was 5 months pregnant and had no other option but to keep my child. I was at the lowest point of my confidence to face the corridors and centres that lurked with the sight of my donor. With this ordeal and feeling so...
Written by Mandy Taite-Tait For as long as I could remember I was always doing something. Always dreaming, building, and wanting something bigger. As a little kid, this involved taking care of grasshoppers. I was maybe 10 and I would keep them in a pencil case with grass, and some water, and would make sure they were fed every day. I didn’t know why but at that time this project consumed all my energy. I felt like I was helping them and doing...
Written by Tafadzwa Madzika Sometimes I hate my life. Maybe more than just sometimes. It's not the thoughts of suicide that are ever present but just dying seems good. It seems simpler, an escape of sorts. Life can be painful. It mostly is. No matter where you are or what you have, there's a sort of suffering for it. And I have to say the worst thing about life is that it takes an instant to crush things that'll take years to build up. 2014 was...
Written by Chengeto Mayowe The road to being a warrior is riddled with harsh words, statements and actions, usually done to you and when you least expect it.'You are not good enough''I never meant to hurt you''You wanted it''Your father is dead''Let's see what you do now that he's gone''You're too fat''Lose some weight''Why are you exposing yourself like that' I could go on and on about words said that cut deeper than any knife could but we'd...
"Hey, I am a narcissist. Wanna be with me?" Hell will freeze over before we hear a narcissist say such words. But then again I guess as humans we do not have that ability to just come out and admit to what we are. It is easier to defend ourselves, but here is a fun fact, the earlier you pick up on these things the better. Once upon a time I met this guy, we will call him Mark. I was young and looks were enough for me to say I was in love. He...
This conversation needs to be had, I think we are all in agreement here. I am exhausted with the statement, ‘get Jesus not therapy,’ or ‘you need Jesus, not therapy.’ Has anybody ever asked these people for an explanation? Because I have and they replied to me with, ‘if you have Jesus you could never be depressed or suffer from anxiety.’ I realized that people really believe this when I sat through a sermon and the pastor laughed depression...
The victim personality is a very hard one to deal with, I am not sure what kind of patience one has to possess to be able deal with a person who has this personality. These people tend to consider themselves in situations that they have been found to be the ones to have wronged someone. They turn every situation good or bad into one where they have been victimised/wronged. CHARACTERISTICS OF A VICTIM PERSONALITY -They believe that people take...
Written by Eunice Tossy I don't think I was escaping life, but I surely needed a refuge. On December 2018, I travelled to Malawi, after a long time of planning for that journey. It was to be a work-related trip, where I was going to intern as a social worker at When the Saints, an organization that provides support to girls who have been sexually abused. The journey was to take place a day after my graduation, but a little bit of backstory, I...
Raise your hand if you are guilty or not doing this as often as you should. In the year 2019, it took me losing everything to self-evaluate and it was a little too late and I have to say that was a lesson learned for me. I got comfortable and life gave me a wakeup call. If you are like the old me, we need to change that real quick! WRITE DOWN YOUR PLAN Write down your goals, this makes them real. It translates them from just being thoughts....
I called a very good friend of mine when I found myself stuck with this topic. I really wanted her to write the blog post because I mean why not? From the other side of the line, she said to me, ‘Dude how are you going to ask how to deal with physical pain. There is only one answer to that, you SLEEP.’ This ladies and gentlemen is a person I should trust with my life, her solution to most things is to sleep. Illustration of a little boy...
I am going to need you all to forgive me for always thinking in music, but remember that song that went, ‘we are young and wild and free!’ I think this should be our life, doing the most with the people we love. Someone on twitter said something in the line of our friends are our real family because they are the ones that really know us and I just… listen, your friends are gems and therefore they should be on your list! Take it from me, the...
My mother always used to say, the best gift you can ever get in your life is good health. She always used to vow she would rather be poor but have her health intact. I think being well is something we take for granted until we watch someone close to us suffer from an illness or we ourselves fall sick. Growing up I watched relatives fall sick and lose their lives. You would think that was the wake-up call I needed to the importance of health, it...
Written by A Brave Woman I’ve had two abortions all below the age of 18, why you ask? I lacked basic sex education because it's quite taboo to educate young people about sex in Malawi. The first time I got pregnant it took me about five weeks to realize I was...
Written by A woman in pain Our baby would have been born today, do you know that? Our progeny, bone of my bones Our pleasurable mistake but the universe’s manifestation of my deepest desires I am pregnant, three little words with so much weight so much meaning Words...
When you fall and get hurt your healing depends on what you do to help the wound to heal. You have to clean it, dress and band aid it, sometimes you are required to do this twice or thrice a week. In the beginning you will dread each change because removing the band...
Do you know how many times I have read a post that reads ‘your workmates are not your friends!’ This seems to be the anthem at many workplaces, and for whatever reason, the image in my head is of a cold place. I see a place that is so quiet you can hear a pin drop...
Let’s be friends! Seriously, if you think we would vibe, you know where to find me. Let's get to talking. Today’s blog post is dedicated to those who do not believe in creating friendships. This may be a trauma response to something that may have happened in the past,...
What are you grateful for today? I probably sound like a broken record to most of my regular readers because I have been saying GET A GRATITUDE JOURNAL! I hope you heard me today and feel extremely pressured to purchase a gratitude journal. However today I want to...
Protect your energy!!! How many times in a day have you either said this statement or read it? I can safely say as a Twitter fan, I read it at least once every day. And maybe I use a lot too, I am guilty as charged. I say it because I need people to understand it, not...
Allow me to take you back to 2018 when I completely lost myself. I fell deep into the hole of trying to play the perfect wife and no I was not married. My life however was focused on playing a part I had no passion for, I was doing what I thought would have me...