the culture 1

Africa! My homeland, I love it so much but it does weird me out some times. There are things I do not understand that often get brushed off with the statement, ‘that is who we are.’ The people with the answers do not give us the answers most times because of sacredness of the ritual, culture or whatever cult they involuntarily enroll one in. Let me take you through a few weird things I have heard.

Weirdo 1: There is a culture whereby when a man finds a woman and they decide to get married on their wedding day the woman is driven or taken to the husbands parents neighborhood. She is dropped off a distance from the house, she is then meant to move on her knees from there to the house. Meanwhile there are aunts and all singing and dancing around her. What is the point? Some say its for her to stay humble or something like that. Now woman is going to have bruised knees on her wedding day just because you are teaching her humility? So strange if you ask me! A little abusive too.

the culture 2

Weirdo 2: Now this one is the oddest I have heard. A bride is not officially a bride until her father in law knows her in and out. If the father in law is deceased then the eldest brother in law is in for the kill. So early morning before the wedding the bride to be must have sex with one of these men, at the same time a cow will be slaughtered. If the bride does not do this the cow will not die and that means no wedding. What in the hulabaloo is this my people? Cleansing the pathway for their son? How awkward is this for the bride to be, I mean now your father in law has been all over you and you still have to treat him like a father. How is this even a sane thing to do? I would not survive this, it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it!

Weirdo 3: This one scared everyone when we were younger, because who wants to be shamed right? This weirdo says that a night before the wedding the couple to be must have sex on top of a white sheet. This my people is the African virginity test, so if you are a virgin you are to bleed on this sheet. Nevermind that not everyone bleeds by the way. If you bleed then they will dance around holding the sheet for entire village or neighborhood to know. If not then they will cut out a circle on the cloth and parade. I am unsure what the circle really symbolises and I will not put m assumptions out there either. I will keep it right here, in my chwest!

the culture

See how in all these women are on the broken end of the stick? I have not heard any weird cultures that include men so if you know any please drop them in the comment box!


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