How I Found My Happiness And Owned My Mistakes

Happiness, it feels like a myth considering the times that we are in right. We have been tried and tested by this virus for over 300 days now and I have to say, this is not the life I envisioned. It feels so closed up and suffocating, we have always been uncertain about what tomorrow holds but this virus definitely has shifted the gears. We log onto our social media and post pictures of ourselves with corny captions and it seems as though we are happy, surviving, strong, but are we?

I had to ask myself this one question, ‘what is happiness to me?’ I had enough the time to brew over this and I am telling you now that what I thought would be happiness, isn’t. I defined my happiness by the presence of other people, I depended on people to warm me up inside. It is a lesson I learn in 2020 and believe me when I say it was a rude awakening. A break up showed me that I didn’t know how to be happy without being attached to someone, I imagine I have burdened many people with the chore of making me happy.

I was forced to learn how to be on my own and still be content. I realized I did not talk to myself enough, sounds weird I know, but once I started taking the time out to have real conversations with myself about myself I unlocked a new level of self-love. I found the deep roots of my love for attachment and started to undo them, heck I am still undoing them but I tell you what, the load feels lighter. I have friends around me but I don’t hog them for their time the way I think I used to.

I also took note of how my happiness was getting drained because I put people’s needs before mine one too many times in the year of 2020. I chose to be broke or forgo something I wanted to help someone else when I started to look back at all these things I realized how much I had abandoned myself and my needs. There is nothing wrong with helping people, but be sure to help people when you CAN. And by that I mean after you have taken care of you, if you had something on your list, it was important to you so do it for yourself.

I found my selfish and I threw it into the mix with my love for giving. The other day I went out and bought the pots that I wanted and other little things. I promised myself that I would start the year by getting myself the things I wanted, I had been putting this purchase aside for the whole of 2020. When I got home after packing up I cried nothing but tears of joy.

The happiness I am chasing this year is the type that I bring to myself. The type that unlocks the doors to setting boundaries and sticking to them. I want this type of happy for you too, and the truth is that’s a journey you have to be willing to start and finish. May you find the strength to claim that happy and hold onto it forever. You are important, always remember that.

A CRYSTAL FOR YOUR HAPPINESS

Aquamarine

Aquamarine is a blue variety of Beryl that crystallizes in hexagonal columns. It comes in a wide array of blue and purple hues. It is calming, soothing, and cleansing, and inspires truth, trust and letting go. In ancient lore, Aquamarine was believed to be the treasure of mermaids and was used by sailors as a talisman of good luck and a source of happiness.

WHERE TO BUY IT…