Somewhere out there someone has labeled you toxic, ever thought about it? To be fair we have all been toxic in one way or another as we tried to figure ourselves out. We grew up in homes were toxicity ruled, we didn’t know what it was so we just carried it along with us. Toxic ways became our rules and part of our values.
It scares me to think that we have a cycle that might not completely break. Toxicity is passed from one generation to another and whilst one generation tries to unlearn another is in training. So the brokenness will never end? Well, we do not have the power to make that big a change so hopefully, we start with ourselves.
Michael Jackson said, ‘I am talking to the man in the mirror, I am asking him to change his ways.’ When you wake up and acknowledge your toxicity the idea isn’t to embrace it but to change it. Not for anybody else but yourself because if we are being honest it hurts you too when you hurt other people. You are not cold-hearted, you just pretend to be, spare yourself angry nights and just find healing.
What to do when you find yourself in a toxic relationship with someone? Toxic people have a way of bringing you down with them, they constantly hurt you and batter you. And quite frankly the first and only thing that came to me was:
This could be a family member, friend or spouse. Yes, you love them but they do not know how to love right. The reality is you cannot save them only they can choose that they want to be saved and actually seek help. Other than that it is not your place to try and fix them, no amount of love will change them. After all, you have tried and it has not worked.
Staying will result in a lack of personal growth. These people will make you feel smaller than you are, they will make you feel like nothing you say or feel matters at all. You start to believe this. Before you get into terrible habits of dealing with the stress, free yourself right away. It is not worth it.
A toxic relationship is one step away from being abusive, it may already be toxic. Abuse in its many forms works on your self-esteem and your mental health. You start to believe that you are unworthy and that you are nothing without these people because they are manipulative. When the signs start showing up then this is when a decision needs to be made.
Make room for a healthier life and relationships. You deserve better, you are worth more, therefore, prepare yourself for that. Cut off these people/ this person and start afresh. Take time out and heal from the experience, take note of the signs you ignored before so you do not wind up in the same place again.
We all deserve happiness and we need to secure it, I hope we learn to put ourselves first and seek pure and genuine love. It is my only wish for us. CIAO!