I can already hear the grunting and the high toned question, ‘why would I want to go back to my ex?’ Quick reality check, we do this all the time but want to act like we are gurus at shutting doors during the people. Cut the act, the heart wants what it wants. So let’s talk about how to do it right!
• HAVE AN HONEST CONVERSATION
When I say honest conversation I am not talking about weighing each other down. That’s the easier thing to do, right? You have been together, you know each other’s weaknesses and strengths. You have time to reflect, you could have gone separate ways because you didn’t know how to deal with each other’s strengths or weaknesses, now you can talk about what you learnt. How to deal with it in the fresh start.
• BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS
This should be point number one, its either you are in or out. Make sure you are on the same page, you want the same thing and are willing to work towards it. The last thing you need is for someone to come at you with, ‘you are the one who wanted this.’ No!
• LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND
If you find yourself constantly going back in time and dragging bullshit with you, you don’t want to be with that person. You are burning the bridge stupid! Make sure you are ready to forget what was and completely start over. (Maybe this should have been the first point)
• TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR SLACK
Not a single relationship has fallen apart because of one person. Let’s not play ourselves like that. It takes two people to make it work or break. Accept and verbalize that you are human and you make mistakes. APOLOGIZE! Seriously, just apologize.
• ENFORCE YOUR BOUNDARIES
It is important to do this going forward, do not hope that the person will figure it out (this goes for all relationships by the way). It will frustrate you when they don’t, you are not dating a mind reader. When you feel they have overstepped the boundaries, remind them POLITELY.
• LOVE ONE ANOTHER
That’s if you agree to do the things of course. Go on, live happily ever after!
If the attempt to fix things and start over turns into a session of, ‘I punch harder, ‘ then you are toxic for each other. LET IT GO IMMEDIATELY! I know I said the heart wants what it wants earlier, in this case, unwant! Please and thank-you… CIAO!
Hahahahaha GROAAAAANNN!!!! I totally grunted and asked that EXACT same question. Then immediately realised I’m being a hypocrite.
Leaving the past behind isn’t that easy though. We can forget specific actions or details of a conversation but we will always remember the feeling. If StaleBae made you feel sad about your appearance in the first incarnation of your relationship, that blurry memory will lend its weight to future conflicts in the horse you resurrected to flog again.
My rule is simple: If we argue about the same thing three times, we need to evaluate that thing’s importance to our relationship and choose to either compromise and get over that thing, or break up because it’s never going to stop being an issue.
I am howling @StaleBae ???… True communication is very important but turns out its a struggle for many. You will find that things build up and one day the person blows up and leaves. Only to realize later, they didn’t give the other a chance to fix the problems.
Well said
Thank you sir…
hahahaha unwant though!lol thank you for the advice mami
Thank you for reading.. ?
You are taking on a subject that may seem but there is nothing normal for millennials. You are pushing limits by being loud
One day it will get me into trouble but until then let’s talk about it all.