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In which household will laziness be tolerated? Not in Africa that’s for sure, at 6 my duties where sweeping, mopping, applying cobra and bathing. Yes it is a chore I hated when I was younger, it earned me a few beatings. Funny story, my dad had a rule that girls must bath twice in a day, no matter what. Which meant when we got home from school we had to eat, homework,play and by the time he gets home we should be clean. This one day play became more important than bathing so my little sister and I played! We ran back home when we realized he was a few minutes from arriving and changed clothes. As if he had seen us in the other clothes, duuuuuh Buhle, but it made sense then. So we chill, he got home and went straight to the bathroom to find dry bathing towels. See that right there was the dumbest thing we ever tried to do, do I need to finish off this story? So no, not in an African home!

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In which household will boyfriends be accepted when you are still wearing clothing you did not pay for or eating food you did not buy? Dare you be seen shying around in the presence of a male, the lecture that follows will never match up to the ones you receive in varsity. By the time it is over your ears will be ringing and your head will be banging, possibly form the claps that come from time to time. This also comes with stories of how pregnancy was hard and how your upkeep is also really expensive. Not to forget the threat about how you will feel it too when you grow older and have your own children. This lecture tends to fade away as you grow older because then they want the bride price and  grandchildren. But where must I find a man when you pulled away from them, please African parent live with your choices because I do not work miracles.  I mean in your household boyfriends are not tolerated.

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In which household will you grow and your knees remain perfect? Which one because if there is one I would very much like to go back in time and be adopted in it. Want to identify an African girl, please use our knees. They have been bruised from many practices, one of them being mopping the floors because a mop is for a lazy woman. And remember laziness does not live our homes either. Then back then before tiles we had floors that required mopping, applying cobra and well shining the floor. All this done on your knees. On top of that never will you give food to an elder standing on your feet, on your knees honey. So as you can see thy knees never stood a chance. Again in an African household.

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In whose household will you sleep at 13 and not be able to cook pap/sadza? Heyi wena, NEVER! You hear me, NEVER! This will not get you in trouble but you will also become the topic at family gatherings until you finally fix it. When you do they will make you cook it just for the sake of it.

Elder 1: Ay did you hear, she can cook sadza now..

Elder 2: You lie, it can’t be..

Elder 3: I want rice today but we can always give the boys sadza, let me ask her to cook. Ay wena make sadza, we are hungry.

Yep, just like that, used!

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