Going into a relationship sex is usually the easy part, but like any other part of a relationship sooner or later you will find yourself needing to talk about it with your partner.
The talk can easily be anything from positions to frequency. Being two individuals with different pasts; hopes and plans for your sexual intimacy, talks are inevitable. This being said having a productive “talk” is important.
Talking about sex in a non-sexual and neutral environment is essential. Your partner should know beforehand what this particular talk is about. DO NOT AMBUSH YOUR PARTNER!
Once you get your partner to talk about sex you might feel an urge to get it all out and try to sort out all your bedroom issues in one go, DON’T!
Sex conversations should be precise and to the point. One topic per conversation is better. Dealing with sensitive relational issues is better done a little bit at a time.
Talking about your partner’s shortfalls and/ or misunderstandings when it comes to the bedroom is very tricky. Remember to make propositions in a positive manner than to criticize, in doing so always be as discreet as you can.
When you get to the issue at hand, tell your partner the things they do right then propose what you want them to do. Follow that with a specific example of what you mean so nothing is misinterpreted. After that allow them to air their views on what you have suggested.
Sometimes simple is best. You can start from basic questions that will give the both of you clarity on what your partner likes before escalating to more complex issues. Some basic questions you can ask are:
What turns you on?
Who do you think should initiate sex?
How often would you like to have sexual contact?
WRITTEN BY ANESU NHEVERA