When you gone pieces of me fall apart and my heart begins to race in ways no speedometer can calculate.

Things around me begin to shift and exist in mid air, I can hardly pull them down.

My  brain cells begin to fall apart, one at a time piling up like coins in places I never thought  I could feel being occupied.

My head starts to feel like a volcano ready to explode but not charged up enough and I can not keep steady.

My nails turn into weapons that dig deep into my skin leaving behind wounds that will heal but leave scars for you to remember that once upon a time you left me.

Every joint in my body can not support itself, its as though ants nibbled on every bone and marrow, like I’m just a body with disjointed bones-crippled.

My bed used to be my sanctuary but  now when I lay there  I feel snakes crawling all over my body, I try to fight them off but I fail because all I’m fighting is thin air.

I hear people speak in a language that I simply do not understand and I think,’ for God’s sake speak in English,’ but they don’t listen to me.

These eyes only see in two shades, black and pitch black, nobody told me this world was so dark without you. You never told me either,these secrets.

The corners in this room feel like cushions on my back but I have a never ending war with the floor because it burns my feet so I stand on that wooden stool and lean back in my corner, heaven.

I chew on my own hair because I can not trust anybody else to feed me, they trying to kill me now that you are gone. Wont you fight for me? Come back so we fight together, like we used to.

Please, don’t let them separate us, we were like Bonnie and Clyde. On top of my lungs we sang INVINCIBLE, because honey we were. My husband took my little princess with him and said he couldn’t deal with me anymore, do you remember that? I let them go because God said you and I were meant to be.

God sent that man in an expensive suit and car to me and he introduced me to you, on the first night I was afraid  of you but you said you wouldn’t hurt me. They had spoken about you on the news,said you were bad news.  But your lips against mine, sweet lime. You made me so happy, I had to see you daily and taste you, how nappy.My life was in the fast and furious lane, edited. To you I was devoted and faithful, couldn’t go without you-addicted.  We were supposed to have a happy ending, what happened to it?

I worked extra hours just to make sure you and I would spend nights together. Even though I dreamt of my princess daily its you that I wanted. With time you changed names and I loved to explore because you had me feeling some type of way every time you changed. Your creativity was beyond my imagination, I loved the surprises. I loved you with all my heart dammit, I left my family for you but you and that man played me. You took off and never came back now its just me in this cold world!

I guess they were right, you are MY WORST ENEMY!!