This love language can fast have someone feeling used and abused. How? This love language needs one to be hands on and do the things that their partner would appreciate. This could be anything from taking out the trash to having a hot meal on the table daily to keeping the house clean. Sounds very exhausting huh, but the importance lies in doing it for love. If you start feeling drained whilst doing this, it may be that your needs are not being met.

When the love is being spread around evenly then one will not feel like a doormat. To stay on top of your game with this love language you have to take note of the things that your partner deems important. Is it a squeaky clean bathroom or a vacuumed house.

Here is the thing when we look at it especially in African homes, the man is to stick to making money for the family, putting food on the table and that is about it. Chores are for the woman in the home, it is where they belong. It also happens to be something passed on from generation to generation because what we see is what we become most times. Imagine a man with this mind-set falling in love with a woman whose love language is acts of service. 

What may happen is that in the dating phase, he may be present to help with this or that because he wants to spend time with her, he may not pick up on the fact that she is falling for him because he is helpful. When the knot is tied, he minds his own and pays no attention to the help she needs or is asking for. And there begins the feelings of change in a person. ‘He/she has changed,’ becomes the song. He/she has not he just does not know your love language. So, communicate before you start feeling like a doormat and resenting the person.

"Communicate before you start feeling like a doormat or resenting the person."


  1. Give them a day off their chores and let them relax as you do their chores.
  2. Run a bath for them, add a scented candle and their favourite book or magazine. Give them that alone time, you might get invite back later. *wink wink*
  3. Breakfast in bed would be great, pair it with a clean kitchen.

I am genuinely asking for myself here, is this where the whole idea of washing each other’s underwear stems from? Would you do it? Would you feel loved is your person washed your underwear?  I am going to ask myself these questions too, I will be back. CIAO!



  1. I am happy i bumped into this post. Been struggling with someone like this…. My love language is quality time and ‘touch’ (have forgotten the right word) and his is acts of service. Tjoooo was doing everything wrong but i am learning now.

    1. I am so happy the post helped you. I will be here, waiting to hear on the happy ever after story! 😘😘😘

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