The touch that makes you feel loved may not be one that makes your partner feel loved. It is very easy to do to them what you want done to you. It is important to have a conversation and find out how your partner likes to be touched and WHERE they like to be touched. Do not be found pasting your hands in the wrong places just because, you know.
In times of a tragedy or a loss, words may mean very little to your partner. Holding them in silence is probably enough for them. Let them cry on your shoulder, literally, hold their hand through it all.