A word a day will keep the counsellor away. – Dr Chapman
The beauty of being unique lies in these love languages doesn’t i?. We all want love but we feel it in different ways. Today we talk about words of affirmation and I maybe a little biased because this just might be my love language. *cough cough* When I think closely, looking back at the kings I wrote about in my book, many did not know that this is what I needed, just a little word. I think for many who fall under this love language we seem to think it is quite obvious, so when our partners do not use words we withdraw and say that the person has changed.
Here is the thing that I feel happens most times when it comes to words of affirmation, when you are still dating it is a time to secure a place in that person’s life. What is the best thing to do at that time? Use your words, be there for them when they are down and speak positively, congratulate them when they win, I mean your words are your tool. When it becomes official you fall back because well your hard work paid off, all good then. But this person fell in love with you because of your words, they needed them and still do.
If your person falls under this love language and are being starved of their source of love watch them closely. They will fetch for compliments, they will talk about the things that they have achieved and how it happened. When they are going through it they will do all things to make sure you notice that all is not well because they need the encouragement. When wrong or have been wronged they prefer kind words otherwise they withdraw. If they want something they request for it, sometimes it takes a lot for them to do so, but they are humble when they do so.
WHAT DOES THIS LOVE LANGUAGE ENTAIL?
1. COMPLIMENTS – a simple compliment will make their day, sometimes it is more than a day, they could carry that compliment for months. It may keep them doing the things that they love to do, so go ahead and compliment your person.
2. ENCOURAGEMENT – if you notice something they are good at and they hesitate to do it, your encouragement may help. Please note there is a difference between pressuring them and encouraging them. When you start sounding like a nag, you have shipped yourself over to pressuring them.
3. KIND WORDS – your tone is very important, one sentence can mean two different things because of your tone. When you are hurt or angry try to calm down first so as to communicate effectively with them and use kind words. Keep in mind that because this is their primary love language they tend to internalize words, picking them carefully is your priority.
4. HUMBLE WORDS – do you need something? Are they not fulfilling your love language? Then sit down and make a request. That is all it takes.
“Love requests, it does not demand.”
A few gift ideas to keep your loved on feeling loved!
- A love letter.
- Scrap book, add affirmations on each page.
- Proclaim your love for them publicly.
- Compile a playlist with all the songs that say what you want to say.
- A jar filled with hand written love notes.
- Cards, they come with messages but it means more when you add yours too.
- A book of love quotes.
- Talk dirty with them during sex.
I have played my part, now go make your person happy! If you are with a person who falls under this love language go ahead and let us know what it is you have done for them to keep them feeling loved, save someone’s relationship why don’t you! CIAO!