I had no friends, zero. That was because he wanted me next to him all the time. Even if I wanted to make friends, I wouldn’t ever get the chance. I was either in the house or out of the house with him. Nothing else.
Zimbabwe was falling apart. And so I knew that the people that were my true friends were already going through their own struggles. I chose to not to add onto that. So I said nothing, for the longest of times. I would say I was ok when I knew very well that I was not ok.
Big things started happening for my friends too, promotions, marriage, buying cars and all that amazing stuff. I was so happy for them and I wished that I could have been there to celebrate these milestones with them. It was worse that I was starting to feel forgotten, their lives got busy so at times chatting was not a top priority for them like it was for me. I had all the time, they didn’t. So guess who cried some more, me!
So now I was a young lady in a foreign land, living with a man who had stopped caring because he had what he wanted. A job and an unpaid maid (read live-in girlfriend) who occasionally gave him sexual pleasure. His life was perfect.
I remember the first time that something in me snapped. It had been a long day and we got home and there was no electricity. So I lay down and before I knew it I fell asleep. The electricity came back around 9:30 pm. Listen, I am deep in sleep and this man woke me up to cook. If that doesn’t tie up the unpaid maid theorem I don’t know what will.
I can’t explain what it was that snapped in me but it did and you would think I said something. I didn’t, I cooked. I was livid but I cooked in total silence. Then he said, ‘If you didn’t want to cook you could have just said so.’
I looked at him and quite frankly what I wanted to do was throw the pots right at him. I didn’t, I just got back to the cooking. Then again he said, ‘I didn’t wake you up so you could cook.’
Oh my Jesus, Joseph and Mary mother of God! This man be lying straight through his teeth, unfarcanprovoked. What!?
‘You know very well you woke me up to cook and now you just feel bad cause you know that was a shit thing to do. So stop it. Isn’t this what I am here for anyway, to play maid.’