I am not sure if this book made it to this list because wine or nah. Nevertheless it is our Day 4 winner! I struggled to pick amongst three books, Around the way girl by Taraji P Henson,  This is just my face by Gabourey Sidibe and We are going to need more wine by Gabrielle Union. I will tell you why I chose this book. 

Gabrielle’s book had so many jewels in it but I believe  a book is not a book until it hits home. There is a chapter where she speaks on how she was sexually assaulted. I can not even begin to imagine how that was for her to actually write, knowing millions will read it. She was so open about the implications of this incident and yet today she stands as a voice on this very issue. She rose above the assault and refused for it to take over her life and drown her dreams. How many people do you know that were sexually assaulted and lost their way in silence, never spoke out.

It hit home because I too am a victim of sexual assault. The only difference is that for me it was a female who did this to me, my grandmothers maid. I never reported her, yet day and night she did things to me. I should have been 7 years old and this woman would finger me every night and make me finger her too. I knew this was wrong but somehow the seven year old in me also knew that if I spoke it was me who would be scolded for lies. So I kept it to myself, I hated the thought of going to bed because I knew what was waiting for me. I can still smell that woman everytime I think about what she did to me. And here is the worst thing, everytime I visit our rural home, I see her. 

I can not sit here and say I dealt with it, I can say however that I am learning to rise above it and tell myself that it was not my fault. That I will not be defined by that incident because I am not it. I see the importance of talking about it though, that is for sure.I see the strength in sharing a story, it may save the next person. So speak out! Ciao!


  1. Awww Ubu, I’m sending you warm virtual hugs. This was heartbreaking to read. It couldn’t have been easy sharing this but here you are owning your story. You’re a strong woman. May you find peace knowing that true to your word, it wasn’t your fault

  2. Babes. I am proud of you /for you /with you. I know this wasnt easy . Uzophakama, i know you will for great heights. Also side note when are we going to your rural home , i have something i left there

    1. I get angered when I see people love about such things, it is the reason why many are not believed. The reason many will not speak. Its a sad world we live in.

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