Once upon a time, I was told a story about my grandmother. She found out that my grandfather was cheating with a young fine ting and she was not amused at all. She set out to the village where this girl stayed or did she lure her into coming to her? I can’t quite recall what happened there but these two found each other in front of each other and my grandmother beat that woman. She beat her so bad she never ever wanted to see my grandfather again.
Savage right? I know! I did not get a bit of that savage in me and it used to upset me but now that I am older and sensible I detest that behaviour! As far as I was concerned this was not the first or the last time grandpa looked the other way but not once did I hear a story that did not involve the other woman being attacked. We laugh about this behaviour but we do not realize that it does not serve us as women.
I was scrolling on Twitter the other day and I bumped into a story of a girl who walked in on her man cheating. She was upset, as she should be but she did not confront this man. She went rogue instead, went and bashed his car. The problem was that she ruined the wrong car, it was just identical to his. The good sis walked away with a broken heart and a lawsuit on her hands because she had damaged property.
In both of these incidents not once were the men held accountable for their actions, the actions were that of a crazy girlfriend but none of them were worth it. Somehow being the crazy girlfriend seems to have a good rep on these streets and I do not understand why because it does not serve you. When a man cheats and the woman walks away peacefully they are ridiculed but the rowdy behaviour is praised. Make it make sense.
It makes no sense to me because the cheerleaders will sit it out when you have to pay the price. When assault charges are laid, you will be on your own. When it is time to pay for the things you damaged out of rage, again your bank account is being emptied whilst they send you, ‘I am sorry,’ messages. To top it off, the man continues to just be. As far as I am concerned being the crazy girlfriend does not benefit you.
A part of me strongly believes that men continue with this behaviour because they know that when shit hits the fan they rarely have to answer for their behaviour. Do you know why? Because as women we choose to fight each other. Excuse me, Susan, why are you calling me out of my name on Twitter over a man that crushed your little happily ever after fantasy? The entire time you are dragging me he is in bed with another woman and calling us crazy bitches, so now what?
Here is a crazy idea I have, how about calling the man who cheated on you the whore? The very person who promised you forever and loyalty, how about holding them accountable for breaking YOUR heart? Your fear of being alone is the reason you choose to shift the blame and protect what you think is yours forever. Shifting the blame does not change what this man has done or shall continue to do. You are better off dealing with him and after that, if you choose to stay with him, you get no judgement from me, sis!
I do not think anyone deserves that much energy from you especially if they have chosen to hurt you in that way. It is ok to walk away, you lose nothing. That’s just my take on this one. What is your crazy story or the craziest you have heard about, let’s laugh about it. CIAO!