So last year someone crossed a boundary, crossed it all the way to the finish line guys. I remember listening to what the person had done and my heart sank. I could not believe that a person I called a friend, one that I respected would go out and do something like that.
So I decided to ask them about it because, errrrmmmm no way we are pretending this did not happen. So I asked and right there and then this person drove into victim mode. I am sorry but when did you become the victim? When exactly when you wronged me.
I decided to breathe so I restrained myself from replying, told myself I would do it the following day when I have had time to myself. I wake up and decide to work before I get into the drama cause you know, I did not know how things would go. I received a message and I thought oh, they saw their fault and they are apologizing. Pshshshshshshshsh I THOUGHT!
Ladies and gentleman clears throat:
‘I am sorry I am a bad person.’
‘I am sorry I didn’t turn out to be who you wanted me to be.’
‘I am sorry I did not know to stay in my lane.’
THESE ARE NOT APOLOGIES, THIS IS PLAYING VICTIM! STOP IT!!!
HOW TO APOLOGIZE
Show remorse – ‘I am sorry I hurt you.’
Admit responsibility – ‘I was wrong for doing ABC.’
Make amends – ‘I will do my very best not to do ABC, will you please forgive me.’
THE IMPORTANCE OF APOLOGIZING
*It helps move past the anger – when someone is wronged a lot of negative feelings hit them and they often turn into anger. An honest apology will calm them down and allow them to move past the entire situation. Help restore someone’s peace by just apologizing.
*It helps develop self-respect – walking away from someone you have hurt without apologizing will in fact affect you more than you think. You may want to play hard but it works on your mental health and you start to harbor hate for yourself. So how about apologizing and allowing yourself a clear conscience.
*It helps to keep you emotionally connected – if you get to a point where leaving someone hurt means nothing to you, guess who is heading towards being satan’s right-hand man? When you apologize you get in touch with your own feelings and this allows you to reason with the other person in question. An emotional balance in a relationship is important.
*Rids you of guilt – guilt will kill you, it eats you slowly until you fail to live with yourself. Do not let it get that far, just apologize. I guarantee you that it will not kill you.
As I wrote this I kept hearing voices of men saying, ‘please tell these women.’ I know it is very hard for us to apologize, we would rather sit in hell than apologize but I think this year we will try, right ladies? If you are with me on this new journey hit the like button. CIAO!