This may not be a fun read for someone who is actually cheating right now. Yikes! But let’s have the conversation anyway, why are you cheating? I love hearing people’s thoughts, so do share your theory on why you think people cheat.

I remember being in high school and this one distant friend of mine always had many boyfriends. She always got cool gifts and her stories were always lit! Now that I think back on it, she probably lied to us and sent most of those to herself. But what do I know.

But I sbwl’d (craved) guys, a 1000%! So what did sis do, she tried it. She tried having two men at the same damn time. What a fail! I felt exhausted, it was really a lot to juggle. I hate lying and I think I low key suck at it. So after a few weeks, I let go of both. Phew!

But the question is why do you cheat? Personally, I think people cheat cause they want to, period. There may be underlying factors but a person just makes a conscious decision to go ahead and cheat. What are the possible underlying factors? Well:

1. ANGER – this often happens when you feels misunderstood, this may stem from a poor foundation. The butterflies took over the process of actually getting to know each other, now you are constantly clashing. Someone feels unheard but they are being heard elsewhere. Oops!

Another reason is that you may feel emotionally or physically neglected. So you will nag for a while until you are too angry to try. But over there, someone is ready to give it all. Temptations, temptations!

2. COMMITMENT ISSUES – if I may point out that this is often very clear, it’s a red flag that you forcably paint white. However there are individuals who have commitment issues and this may be for various reasons one of them being childhood trauma.

These people belong to open relationships and so if you are not about that please step aside. You will not be able to change them, if change comes it’s on their own accord. You have no power. So it’s either you are open or just don’t do it because they will cheat.

3. LOW SELF-ESTEEM – being admired or complimented by someone who is not your partner makes you feel good, doesn’t it? Yes, human beings are weird. You may take it a step further and get sexual with another person just to feel powerful, attractive and confident.

It won’t be that your partner isn’t giving you all of this, they probably make your bed rock but you feel like your partner is obligated to say or do those things so it doesn’t count.

Again I say this is a personal thing, you need to sort it out on your own. Your partner is not the solution and they don’t have the answers. Try to get professional help to find the source of your issues.

At the end of the day I think we need to normalize leaving a relationship and being honest with ourselves. If you are not getting what you need from the relationship, please by all means, leave.

We may look for a thousand reasons why, they don’t matter. I read a tweet the other day and it said ‘ Cheating is too long a process to be  counted as a mistake.’ I couldn’t agree more, people always know what they are doing. What are your thoughts? Comment below! CIAO!

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