10 Ways To Stop Self-sabotaging

by | Sep 2, 2020 | Mental Health, Health & Wellness | 1 comment

Why are you afraid of your power? Someone once said to me we are not afraid to fail, we are afraid to succeed. I really thought they were crazy for saying that, it made no sense to me. It was only years later, when my cocoon was about break open when I realized how true that was.

If a relationship actually worked out then I have to let go of my sad storyline, what will I tell people? Solution: self-sabotage!

If the career path I chose turns out to be a success as opposed to what society said, then I become their enemy. Who will I be then? Who will I have? Solution: self-sabotage!

Stop! It doesn’t serve you to continually serve other people and put yourself last. The first thing you need to realize is that the life you live is yours, the rules are yours, the time is yours, and the choices are yours so allow yourself to fully bloom.

Do you know the one thing I was a guru at? Sabotaging compliments. If we are being honest, I am still unlearning it because turns out it has layers to it.

Person: Buhle you are beautiful.Buhle: *laughs* Must be the make up. Also Buhle: You obviously don’t know what beautiful is, have you seen *insert name*

Let’s hop onto this journey together!


1. IDENTIFY YOUR PATTERN – what is your go to thing when you see the doors of success unlocking? For some it is procrastination and some just run away. The moment you find your pattern, when you find yourself in the sabotage circle remind yourself that you can, you are and you will!

2. CHANGE YOUR NARRATIVE – the things that happened to you, the stories you hold onto are the ones that you use to build your image.Believing that you have to correct something you did in the past and holding onto that as a goal is another problem. The past isn’t to be forgotten, however the mistake is in allowing the negativity to take over. Don’t forget, but learn and use those lessons to become a better you. You deserve better and that’s the story you need to tell.

3. NEGATIVE SELF-TALK & BELIEFS – there is no one on this earth you talk to more than yourself so what are you saying? The things you say to yourself manifest in the physical so be careful.

4. MOVE AWAY FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE HOLDING YOU BACK – I am talking about the type of people that do a great job at planting doubt in you. They have obviously picked up on your weakness and they use it well.Keep in mind that there are people who only want you around because they feel you are beneath them, it makes them feel powerful. Don’t be a victim.

5. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE GOAL – focus on the results of what you are doing, let that be your driving force. Write it down and start the morning by reading it & follow up by affirming yourself. (I just gave you a cool morning routine)

6. STOP REGRETTING – you are not wrong for trying or for starting. This often happens when one small thing goes wrong and you immediately start blaming yourself and feeling stupid for trying. It’s inevitable, we don’t have complete control of how things go. So it’s ok, again find the lesson and use it to your advantage. Keep moving!

7. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY – of your actions and thoughts. It doesn’t make you weak, what’s weak is constantly blaming people around you. The victim mentality is a form of self-sabotage. It’s hard to admit when you are at fault but it also removes a whole weight of guilt. What sounds better?

8. HOW LOW IS YOUR CEILING? – on a scale of 1-10, what is your deserve level. That’s your ceiling, we often mark our own ceilings and it is always low. ‘Oh no, I don’t deserve that, it’s too good for me.’ BREAK THROUGH THAT CEILING! You deserve it all.

9. COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE – firstly we are built different, secondly we are built very differently. You are meant to be you, so what business do you have trying to be someone else. Stay in your lane and slay in your lane. Periodttt!

10. BE PATIENT – it doesn’t happen over night, you will slip up sometimes. You will cry yourself to sleep because it’s all too hard. You will lose friends because the trauma bond has broken. The important thing is choosing yourself and choosing to unlearn this habit. Chase your dreams and win sweetie! CIAO