How I Found My Spiritual Alignment

by | Jan 19, 2021 | Mental Health, Health & Wellness | 0 comments

Allow me to take you back to 2018 when I completely lost myself. I fell deep into the hole of trying to play the perfect wife and no I was not married. My life however was focused on playing a part I had no passion for, I was doing what I thought would have me accepted by the community. By community I mean the church, I was convinced that if I turned out to be the good wife, my blessings would rain down on me. Laugh with me because I was being a fool! I kicked myself out of alignment in the name of people-pleasing.

I was depressed on most days, nothing made sense. I cried in that one room, I questioned life, my existence, my worth, heck I even questioned my talent. I rarely slept because I was angry, at the time I wasn’t sure what I was angry about, but I carried that anger and I am sure it reflected one way or the other. I developed bags under my eyes, I was always feeling tired yet rest never came. If it sounds like a disaster as you read, believe me when I say I was. If you haven’t read UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU, do the right thing and catch up on this story in full.

My purpose was not being a wife even thought growing up that was the story that we were sold as girls. Every skill we were taught wasn’t for our survival, it was so we could be the best wives to our husbands. Even bathing wasn’t for us, this really angers me so let me stop! The point was, I lost my purpose, I forgot who I was and ladies and gentlemen that is how you step out of your spiritual alignment. The moment you lose focus on your purpose, you are separating yourself from the universe and your spirit guides (we all have them, stop wearing that face.)

If you find yourself in a space where you are depressed and failing to get out of it, if everything feels meaningless and if people keep saying to you, ‘you are not yourself,’ then you have hit 2018 uBu bottom. You need to find your voice again, light up your world again and live within your purpose. Yesterday we spoke about spiritual balance, and well that is one of the ways to find your way back to alignment with the most important tool being meditation.

Another trick I found is practising gratitude when you remind yourself of the things you have got. Once you are conscious of the positive things happening around you, then you can get up and continue chasing your dreams. It feels like nothing is impossible for you. Throw in some affirmations to repeat in the day and you have yourself an aligned, happy person. Above all, be yourself!

I had to leave the church to be able to be myself. So many rules in the church had me questioning how I belonged there and in 2018 the man I was with was very pushy about the church. I didn’t agree with the way people were treated in that church, I questioned how the pastors were looked at like God’s. Some of the sermons were a tad bit questionable and I tried my people, I did. But deep down I knew it was wrong to be homophobic, I knew it was ok to want a piercing or a tattoo or to wear a backless dress. I also knew I was not born to be ‘servant’ to a man.

I felt extremely suffocated and I reached my breaking point. I started by lying to skip church, made up one pain after another. Then I got to a point where I just said I didn’t want to go, point-blank. It wasn’t easy though, I was scared of the judgement that would follow from family and friends. I may have lost friends because of this choice but I am ok with it. I would rather be myself than pretend, I would rather have people who love me for who I am anyway. I can safely say, I am happy! This is where I belong and I hope to stay on this path of alignment for the rest of my life.


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