When you fall and get hurt your healing depends on what you do to help the wound to heal. You have to clean it, dress and band aid it, sometimes you are required to do this twice or thrice a week. In the beginning you will dread each change because removing the band aid will hurt, the dressing will sting too and it’s all unbearable yet we have no choice but to go through it because we want to wake up one day and no longer feel the pain.
This is how it feels when you are heartbroken doesn’t it. Everyday you wake up and there is something that will remind you of your new reality or what used to be. It takes a tweet you knew they would have laughed at to bring you to tears. You want to share your wins withthem, but they are no longer around. Your heart willyearn for a conversation with them but youa re reminded that you do’t have that privilege anymore. The reminders are the band aid, those hurt for a while but your healing depends on what you do each time the band aid is ripped off. Are you pushing the pain away or are you allowing yourself to feel?
I talk about one of my experiences in my book where I found out I was being cheated on and I knew the girl from Twitter (we are pretty cool today though) and I chose to watch their relationship. And it wasn’t in a weird stalker way, they really spoke about their love a lot and there was no running from it. In the beginning it hurt, I cried, I cussed and as time went on it stopped hurting. I shifted from a hurt person, to a healed person but it took so much time to get there. Be patient with yourself, its hard to switch off your feelings especially if you were really into the relationship. And that is ok, you are human after all. Allow yourself to hurt, there is no set time to get past the grieving.
When they say time heals all wounds, they aren’t lying. You can not erase all the memories in a minute no matter how hard you try. You can’t forget the joy the person brought just by watching a feel good movie. It’s great to find positive things to do with your time, things that make you happy, that’s the dressing for your wound. Sometimes, it may be things you had started doing with your ex, don’t abandon them, they are your thing! Dress the wound and change the band aid as often as you can.
You will know you are ok the moment you can wake up and they are not on your mind. When you hear their name and you can smile. When someone wearing their cologne/perfume walks right by you and you wish them well instead of cuss at them. The day when you don’t need to consciously seek your dressing because you are hurting, when every bandaid is out in the trash, you my darling are healed! It will take time but it will happen. I promise. CIAO!