I wrote this piece titled I am sorry in the year 2015 and when I read it today, I see where I was coming from but there are parts of this blog post that show my ignorance in the matter. Whilst I took the time to get in the shoes of the person who was born HIV positive, my assumptions around the situation were completely wrong and I would like to correct that today. The stigma that existed around HIV/AIDS for years is what we are continuously fighting today and trying to educate people on and all I did was fuel the stigma.
I called the parents of this imaginary child promiscuous, that was wrong. Years back people feared to talk about their statuses because that was the obvious assumption. A good wife or a good girl cannot possibly be found HIV-positive, she had to have been fooling around. How untrue it has always been. There are people who are victims of criminal transmission of HIV, if you do not know what this is let me explain. This is when a person is aware of their HIV status and they intentionally pass it onto other people. Yep, there are people who do this out of rage and cruelty and it is indeed sad to think about or even watch. It is a game of deception and manipulation and is unfair.
In some cases, especially in marriages, it is a case of one of the individuals stepping out and being reckless. Time and again people have been advised to get tested with their sexual partners but it seems to be human nature that we choose to go with our gut and hope for the best. But then this is what happens sometimes, a person who chooses to judge by the eye gets sexually involved with a person who is HIV-positive. They then go home and have unprotected sex with their wife or husband and unknowingly infect them too. From the stories I have heard, asking your wife or husband of two years to go and get tested might not be a great idea because the next person will feel like they are being accused of infidelity. So everything just goes on until a pregnancy pops up and tests have to be done, by then…you know the story.
I had no right standing outside the window and judging a scenario I knew nothing about and this is to remind you that neither do you. Life comes at people fast and we need to practice grace and kindness. The scenarios I outlined above are just but a handful of what is happening out there. There are rapists who only started this behaviour to spread HIV because ‘they will not suffer alone.’ We do not know people’s stories and have no right to pour our two cents irresponsibly as I did. May this blog post be the reminder that we all need that we are better off learning and understanding the things we do not than talking out of our asses. Be reminded that kindness will not kill you and it is important to spread it every day.
In addition to that, I would like to encourage you to practice safe sex always. It is easy to get carried away with the fun so you can have tea time with your friends about how great the sex was but do your best to avoid getting tangled up and not put your health first. That is your wealth after all. A person that refuses to get tested first is always a red flag to me and it should be to you too. I have no advice for the married cause that feels difficult and emotionally explosive so anyone with advice on that please drop it in the comment section. CIAO!