Nothing is more frustrating than talking to someone who doesn’t know how to listen. There are people out there who are always ready to defend themselves so they have no time to hear the other person out. They tend to feel like they are being attacked all the time, as they are reading this in their mind they are defending themselves. I just hope they are not doing it out loud because….
Ok listen, I have a point and you know it. There could be many reasons that have someone turn out to be like that, we cannot completely fault them for it. Life and its experiences shape and mold us into the people we are. It is unfair that somewhere in our lives we have to correct life’s mistakes, such a drag huh. So if you have been told that your listening skills are poor, then here is how you can try to turn away from that narrative.
DO NOT INTERRUPT THAT PERSON WHEN THEY ARE TALKING – and actually listen to what they are saying. Stop yourself from interfering them when they are telling you why they are hurt and stop yourself from cooking up a defense. There is no way you can listen whilst writing a whole essay in your head. That too counts as interrupting them as they speak, put yourself aside, and concentrate on the person’s feelings.
LISTEN FOR FEELINGS – when people decide to bring a matter up it is because it made them feel something. When you find the feelings then it helps you to deal with the situation or solve the problem. If the feelings are positive then it helps to know the person better.
ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT THE PERSON SAID – let them know that you heard what they said and that it is valid. Not just as a procedure please, but genuinely. Do not toy with people’s emotions and feelings it is cruel.
CHECK FOR NONVERBAL CLUES – this counts if you are having a face to face conversation, body language sometimes says more than the actual words. If you pick up on something ask them if there is anything else they would like for you know. If there is, go back to step 1.
Can we count this as a life skill? I think we should because it is one that we will always use in our everyday lives. Imagine if we could all just listen to one other, do you think we could have beat racism? Do you think patriarchy would be alive? My mind is going places, if you went with me we can have a chat. Share your thoughts. CIAO!