You are steady questioning everything happening around you, questioning your worth, questioning if you will ever get to the top. When you look around you, nothing makes sense. You feel as though you are going in circles, working your ass off with no results. Yeah, I get you, I get that you are tired and wish everything could just stop!
I get into this state more than I would like to confess and I don’t talk about it anymore because people just bring motivational speeches, it’s as though they don’t hear me when I speak. It’s not their fault, they are just doing their best. I mean, what exactly do you tell someone who seems to be stuck in a cycle of self-doubt? The number one instinct is to remind them that they have won before and they can still win. Which in fact is the truth.
Ever asked yourself why you get into this state? I have and I have found that its because I would have hit a jam. I feel stuck and I don’t have the solution to it, my anxiety shoots to the sky and all of a sudden I can’t imagine myself making it out of that situation. I forget to trust the universe to come through for me because I want to be in control, I want to see the solution and that just kills me. It’s the love of being in control that I struggle with.
I am learning to let go, I continue to use the affirmation, ‘I am secure with letting go of the impulse to control.’ Whenever I find myself crawling back into this hole of self-doubt and calling myself a failure I realize how ungrateful I am being so I begin to list the good things happening around me. This helps to remind me that focusing my energy on one small bump in the road is not serving me. I am better off accepting it and zoning into what I CAN do, what I HAVE and, what I am CAPABLE of.
Another affirmation that I absolutely love is, ‘I allow the universe to work in my favour without interfering.’ It also helps me to let go of the things I have no control over, it helps me trust that a higher power will come through for me and I tell you what, it always does! Then I laugh at myself because the hours I spent cursing myself I could have spent being productive. The situation always seems bad in that moment, it feels dark and heavy and sometimes we like sitting in that mess. I can’t explain why but we do.
Reason number two is having high expectations of myself. I want to be Beyonce, whilst being Oprah whilst being Chimamanda. Girl, c’mon! Take it easy. The dreams are absolutely valid, but they never lied when they said you got to take it one step at a time. Nywe nywe we all have the same 24hrs, but do we all have the same resources though? Pace yourself, Rome was not built in one day. We were raised by parents who wanted us to be over achievers for their tea time stories, undo that nonsense. Allow yourself to be, mould yourself into the superstar you are meant to be AT YOUR PACE!
This post is to remind you that you are worthy, you do belong at the top but that also depends on how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, and how much your trust yourself. It lies on what you choose to put your energy into, are you choosing to hold onto the darkness and own it or letting go. Silence the voices that keep telling you have to make it NOW because that isn’t the focus, the focus is enjoying the ride, growing, learning, and becoming. You can’t control everything so do what you can. See you at the top. CIAO!
