Life & Lessons

10 WAYS TO STOP NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

As we prepare for the EXPRESSIONS OF SELF-CARE BLOGGING CHALLENGE (get the PDF on the calendar page), I just thought this would be a great starting point. There is very little you can achieve if your words do not match your dreams or actions. What we do not realize is how powerful our words are, words lead you to the place you belong. If you do not believe in your words then surely your actions mean nothing, it simply is an act.

I had a season in my life where I had nothing nice to say to myself, I was so harsh. I told my self I was ugly, that I would never amount to anything, I even managed to convince myself that what my family members had said about my aspirations was true. I wanted to run back to them and shout, ‘YOU WERE RIGHT, PLEASE HELP ME!’

Two things stopped me from doing that, one was pride and the second was a revelation I got. I was in a bit of a mess with my ex, we needed money and had nothing. I said, ‘by end day, we will have it.’ And it happened! I thought to myself if I can speak money into existence why can’t I speak love, light, success, strength, and growth into my life.

I did not become the best person to myself right away, it took time. There was so much I had to unlearn and erase from my mind but I promise you it is worth it. Start your journey today, in 2020 we make changes!

  1. CHANGE YOUR INNER TONE VOICE – be kind to yourself. We are human, we make mistakes so watch how you talk to yourself in those times when you have messed up. Speak to yourself the same way you would a child, this was you correct yourself and forgive yourself.
  2. STOP LABELING YOURSELF – when people say something about you do not take it and own it. Happens a lot with plus-size people (I can speak on it cause I am) where we make ‘fat jokes,’ so it seems as though we are confident. At times it becomes really extreme and that is dangerous because your confidence withers away and you do not even realize it. Stop it!
  3. STOP BLACK & WHITE THINKING – this is when you expect way too much from yourself, most times this is driven by anger and the need to prove a point. It is dangerous because when things do not go as planned you will fall into depression and this is how you start saying things like, ‘I am a failure.’
  4. STOP MINIMIZATION – ‘I am not that good, there are people out there who are way better.’ Excuse me? You need to walk on this earth like you are the best at what you do, celebrate your strengths and use them when you can. This is not to say you become arrogant, fine line over there.
  5. STOP MAGNIFICATION – things happen to all of us, good and bad. So this thing of turning your bad situation into a never-ending movie where you are the victim needs to stop. We love making situations bigger than they already are, this is when I remind you that it is not happening to you but it is happening for you.
  6. STOP WITHT THE EMOTIONAL REASONING – I am 1000% guilty of this! 1000%!!! And take it from me, you make the worst decisions at these times, unnecessary ones too. They may even lead you to a bigger mess, usually implicating you. I am trying to allow myself to feel, calm down and then act. Try it!
  7. YOU ARE NOT A MIND READER SO STOP IT – this is how I have managed to talk myself into trying things because I assume I know what people will think about it. And of course, the people in my head will say all the negative things you can imagine. Firstly, do things because you want to. Secondly, people will always talk no matter what so… The important thing is what you think and say about what you want to do, PERIODT!
  8. CHANGE YOUR NARRATIVE HABITS – the way you talk about the events in your life makes a big difference in how you will talk about yourself. So draw lessons ( read positive talk) from every event, that way you take it as a stepping stone that made you a better person. You start to feel better about yourself.
  9. MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS – when something happens, we think about it a lot and this leads to us feeling. Negative event + positive thoughts = positive emotions. Get it?
  10. QUIT OVERGENERALIZING THINGS – another thing I am guilty of, and I think many of us do it especially with, ‘family curses.’ *cough cough* ‘It always happens, it happened to all my aunts, it is a thing in our family.’ Eeerrrmmm NO! Once you own it and speak it into your life then hey, it is yours!

Love, light, success, growth, opportunities, and MONEY is the language we are speaking in 2020. If you agree comment with an AMEN! CIAO!

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