The word ‘rules’ itself sounds stiff, it sounds like something that will just make your life a living hell. I agree with you but I think we feel that way because growing up the rules we were given were ones we did not like or agree with. Society itself has these ridiculous rules that often get us stuck when trying to make our personal rules. (Remember to drop a comment below.)
I have found myself stuck between right (read society’s rules) and wrong (read my personal rules) so many times. At one point I tried to find a balance so I do not feel guilty for letting the society down. I am not sure why I felt like I owed them something at all when in actual fact I owe myself a quality life. I finally managed to rule out the ‘should’s’ I was raised by and set my own set of rules.
‘You should get married and have children.’
‘You should get good grades and go to university.’
‘You should wear clothes that cover your entire body.’
‘You should believe in God, Allah, Spirits.’
Many of us still say, ‘but you should…’ And when asked why the answer is usually the fact that that’s how it has always been. Does it work for you though? Does it merge with your values and beliefs? I bet you realize now the amount of unlearning you need to do. Whatever you decide your rules to be, they need to be ones that suit you, your needs and your lifestyle.
You will never find vegetarians talking about a cheat day where they will eat meat because their personal rule says that they will NOT eat meat because abc. They made the rule for a reason that best serves them. All I am trying to stress is that it all needs to make sense to you and nobody else, when setting your rules forget everyone else.
Below I am going to list some rules that have made my life so much easier and some of these I have spoken about before. There is no harm in repetition, right?
- DEDICATE THE FIRST HOUR OF THE DAY TO YOURSELF – if it means an hour of silence then do it. Yoga, jogging, prayer, affirmations whatever it is that sets the mood for a great day for you then do it. In as much as you have no power over most things that may occur during the day, if you start it off right you will be able to work through whatever comes your way.
- DEDICATE AN HOUR TO SOME PERSONAL DEEP WORK – I disappear for a few hours to do some writing in the mornings. An hour is just the minimum, I do 2-3hours to write. My phone is offline and I just concentrate on writing. Whatever you about then take the time out to concentrate on it.
- SHOWING GRATITUDE – for life, for having the things you need, for the friends and the family you have. Achieved something, show yourself gratitude and whoever else helped you make it happen if someone else was involved. Use a journal, write it down. Even when things are not ok, there is always something to be grateful for.
- WRITE DOWN YOUR TO-DO LIST A NIGHT BEFORE – this has really helped with my anxiety. When I do not have a to-do list I could remember something I need to do mid doing something else and that would trigger anxiety. I will not get much done in this state because I will be all over the place. So a to-do list in the order of what is being done when really helps me get things done in a calm state. Oh happy days!
- KNOW THAT THINGS HAPPEN FOR YOU AND NOT TO YOU – I recently added this to my list when I told myself that whatever happens to me is not to destroy me, it is not a curse or a witch trying to get at me. It is for me to learn something, grow in whichever aspect of life that I have to, it is positive. Therefore, it is happening for me and not to me.
That is all from me today and I would like to hope that I helped you through this blog post. If you have anything to add, please drop it in the comment section because this community is one for growth, learning, unlearning and all things in between! CIAO!