‘Every time I try to leave
Something keeps pullin’ me back, me back
Telling me I need you in my life
Every time I try to go
Somethin’ keeps tellin’ me that, me that
Everything goin’ be alright
Every time I try to leave
Something keeps pullin’ me back, me back
Telling me I need you in my life
It was meant to be
You were meant for me
So that means we gotta make it work…’
Tell me you know that jam! I just took myself all the way back, if you must know the song is currently downloading because why not? Why did I start there? Because that song ties in with my very first point in this blog post:
- LET GO OF YOUR EX – you will do so much harm in your relationship if you choose to have your ex pulling at your heartstrings. There is a reason why it did not work out honey boo, so close the door, chain and throw away the padlock key. If you failed to make it work when you were together, you will not make it work any other day. It is very off-putting to be with someone who is in limbo. No way! If you find that you have not completely let go of your ex, leave other people’s children alone. SIMPLE!
- STOP MAKING STORIES OF YOUR EX THE CENTER OF EVERYTHING – ‘the color purple reminds me of my ex. My ex wore that cologne. My ex taught me how to cook these, I fell in love with them since…’ Eeeerrrmmm what in the sabotaging yourself are you doing? You must have bumped your head, cause this is not how you keep a person around. This is how you raise a red flag and get LEFT!
- PREPARE YOUR PEOPLE – you cannot have your people (read friends and family) constantly comparing your new person to your old person. If you are done with the old person, please tell them and have them let go as well. These two groups of people, whether we like it or not, have a big impact in our lives. If they are to be around your new relationship may their focus be on accepting and loving your new partner and not weighing him to those that were.
- MANAGE YOUR FRIENDS & RELATIONSHIP – the time factor. Do not abandon your friends but do not abandon your partner either. There is a need for a balance, you need your space, you need time with your friends and you need time with your partner. If you are clear about your plans and you both agree on date nights etc then be there for those. Respect that time with your person and even for that time, they need to themselves or with their friends.
- STOP USING PAST EXPERIENCES TO CONTROL YOUR RELATIONSHIP – stop with the emotional abuse! It is not pretty and this quickly drains your partner. Like I mentioned before, make sure that you are completely healed from whatever hurt you in the past relationship before moving on. It is unfair to punish your partner for things they did not do. If you need therapy to heal, do it before starting afresh. Thank me later.
- RELATIONSHIP MYTHS – ‘If your partner isn’t jealous then they are cheating.’ Kindly stop it! STOP IT! It is all I have to say.
I have done many of these things and they have resulted in an abandoned me because most guys do not like the idea of breaking things off with women so instead they will drift away from you and that is when you start talking about feeling alone. Well, something would have made your partner drift from you at that time so evaluate. REPENT BELOVED. CIAO!