A rude awakening is what I got once too many times because I chose my friends at face value. When I chose friends before I knew what they believed in, what their values were, and whether or not they even liked me. Whuuu shem chile, that isn’t the way it goes. Lawd have mercy!

See relationships with our friends is quite equivalent to the ones we build with our lovers, nothing much is different. Make sure your friend is actually your friend because honey I have counted people who weren’t counting me. I have given to people who didn’t want what I was giving them. So while it may be weird to say, ‘hey do you want to be friends,’ or ‘hey do you think we could be friends,’ it is a conversation that we need to normalize.

Brand alignment, is that you? This right here is a real thing in as much as we try to brush it off, it exists. I realize now that there are ‘friends,’ that I always invited to events, they would come at times but at times they would decline. But get this I would always see them at events that I wouldn’t have received invites to. Open events or their own. Yikes! Guess who did not align with the brands, you guessed it.

Find friends that count you, friends that won’t have you trying to be someone you are not. Find friends that look at you and see their equal, if you find yourself competing or trying to LEVEL UP, then sheesh! I later realized that I assumed my position in these people’s lives, I held them at heart whilst I was at the bottom of their list.

I didn’t have the fancy clothes or the money to hangout in expensive spaces. Everything I did was planned and I balled on a budget baby, how dare I tell myself that I could fit into the big leagues. Before I learnt that friendship needed to be a two-way street, I was such a beggar. I begged for love, I begged to be counted, such a sad thing when I look back at it. I couldn’t even choose myself.

Find friends who value who you are on the inside before they weigh your dress code, friends who lift you up and not break you down. Choose friends who are pure at heart, who love you for who you are. Friends who understand who you, who have your back at all times, who don’t judge you for your stupid decision but will correct you with love. Choose friends who reflect your values and beliefs. CIAO!

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