So you’ve found out your friend is being cheated on?
Drawing the line, where is it drawn in this situation? Do you mind your own business or do you step in because your friend is your business? If you have ever found yourself in this position please share how you handled it in the comment section.
I agree that this is very tricky territory. You are always one word away from either losing your friend to a liar or being humiliated because you misread a situation. We all know being cheated on sucks and it’s truly fair to want to protect the people you love but here is what I think may be less messy.
1. CHECK YOUR FRIENDSHIP – how close are you with this person? If you a friend’s through a friend you met through a friend then maybe it’s wiser to step back. I say this because chances are y’all vibe but not to that extend. They may not be willing to get such information from someone they don’t count as a close friend either. Things could get messy real quick.
It’s obviously a different story if the friend is your bestie, this is someone you know better and you know how they react to everything. It will be much easier to map the steps out.
2. DO NOT SHARE THE NEWS WITH MUTUAL FRIENDS – it may feel right to gather everybody and be the person with the tea and I am going to say this once, sit down and be quiet. Sip that tea in silence, please, and thank you. There is nothing more humiliating than finding out everybody else knew but you. Nothing!
3. GET THE FACTS FIRST – a chat with your friend might be a good start. Find out how their relationship is going, is he/she happy? What are the dynamics? You don’t want to be the person who assumes their partner is cheating when they have agreed to be in an open relationship. Now you there looking like boo boo the fool. You must akkksss! (in a clever way, obviously)
4. DO NOT ATTACK THE CHEAT – we often act on our emotions and this just isn’t the time for that. If the partner really is cheating and you attack them, you are giving them room to be a step ahead of you. If their manipulation game is top notch (which it usually is) your friend might be stuck with a douche for longer than you wish.
5. TELL YOUR FRIEND – only do this after point number one please, know your place. Sometimes you are friends with the person and they not friends with you.
When you do tell them, tell them what you saw. So not insinuate, do not give them opinions. At this point they will have to decide what to do with that information and the relayionship. You love your friend, we get it, but do NOT be involved any further.
Being heavily involved may have you looking like a clown when they decide to stay together anyway.
6. BE SUPPORTIVE – whether they decide to stay or leave, be a friend. Be present.
I still say there is no right or wrong way of handling this situation, I just like the idea of not having to carry the burden whilst staying out of the mud too. So do your part and mind your own. Remember to share your story in the comment section so we learn from you too! CIAO!