For many of us when we hear the word boundaries our mind takes us to setting these for our romantic relationships, which of course should be done. We, however, need to do this for our friendships and our families too. Families happen to be trickiest ones on the list right? I would tell you how to go about it but listen, I am also trying to figure it out. If you have done this please, tell us how in the comment section. Boundaries are an...
‘How do you know that it is love?’ There is no way to scan someone‘s heart to know whether their emotions match yours. So we measure love through deeds and actions, a tricky measure but it is all we truly have. However, past experiences have a way of coming around to sabotage the new things in our lives. You may find that you know very well that you have found a new love and it is beautiful but you find yourself repelling it. You won’t allow...
Written by Carol Girl look at him. I mean really look at him. Don’t be afraid, I've been there too. You know that man is a good man, that's why you're friends. You worry that his compliments are because he’s biased. After all, he’s your friend. I'm here to tell you it's real. He takes great pictures of you because that's how he sees you. You've thought about it, haven’t you? Being more than friends. It scares you; I get that. But you dated...
Sex is sex, right? You want it, you go get it and you move. That is how it has always been for most people and it still is. But we need to stop addressing sex as just sex because there is more to than just that. And I am not about to go ham on you about soul ties because, wow! I did write on soul ties and you can read about that here. What I will talk about however is your mental health. Yes, I am going there. You get to define what sex means...
Do you really have your person’s back? Do they have yours? Being a couple is a partnership and so it is great to be able to balance each other out in life. How about some fun activities to get to know each other a little more? Let me help you to keep your love alive and add something to your list of new things you learnt about your person: DANCING CLASSES – I can hear someone say, ‘No way, I have two left feet!’ Go topple over if it makes your...
Before we go far, please make sure your partner is one who actually likes surprises. To my surprise, some people really hate surprises. But if they love surprises then you are in the right place. Yes, I stay preaching the importance of knowing your person in order to gift them right but there are a few things on the list that work for many people. You can always twist some of these to suit your person too, it is ok. Now shall we? A paid hair do...
Travel has to be one of the things that needs to be on everyone’s list. Honestly, we would have failed ourselves if we allow lives to come to an end without seeing the world. It was made to be seen, go out there and see it! Here is the thing about travelling; it opens up your mind, you learn more about yourself and see life differently after each experience. Solo travel is great but have you tried a baecation before? As the person writing this,...
There are days I wish I was an alpha female.. God knows I would lean on myself more than other people. I would walk the streets, look people in the eye and never be afraid to ask them why they are looking. I would call people out on their bullshit, out loud, right there and then without taking days to think everything over. But here I am, just being me! (Subscribe to the blog, so you get to know me a little bit more) I have a few friends who...
I sat down one day and asked myself; what is a date? What is the purpose is of a date? This is time spent together to get to know each, to have a conversation and a laugh. My dumbass landed on food because all my dates revolve around food. Do not get it twisted, I love food and if you do not feed me then you are most definitely cancelled. You are out out! So let’s have a date before a date, you understand? Let me help you out a little. HIKING –...
‘Every time I try to leave Something keeps pullin' me back, me back Telling me I need you in my life Every time I try to go Somethin' keeps tellin' me that, me that Everything goin' be alright Every time I try to leave Something keeps pullin' me back, me back Telling me I need you in my life It was meant to be You were meant for me So that means we gotta make it work…’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAHV2hIyl0M Tell me you know that jam! I...
Confirm the honeymoon phase is the best of it all? Listen, the butterflies and the rush are to die for. Statements like, ‘things have changed,’ and ‘you have changed,’ start to fly around and this is the stage where the bond either breaks or gets stronger. Most times, the bond breaks because a couple of things were not put into place. We absolutely love to wing it with our relationships. I mean, sure, it makes it more interesting to learn as...
I keep seeing people on twitter talking about how they hate the talking stage, listen I get that it is a tiring process. And because we keep getting in and out of relationships it starts to feel really annoying. Telling someone your favorite color when you told someone else the same thing about a month ago. Draaaaaggggg! But then the reality is this is when we find out whether or not this person is worth our time. What we do need to do is ask...
‘Love is beautiful!’ We say this a lot, when we experience it or when we think we are experiencing it. When we see it in other people and when we yearn for it. But why doesn’t it last for some us, where do we go wrong? One of the reasons why we fall out with people is because we have not taken the time out to discover ourselves. We barely know who we are, we think we know but really do not. If you get out of a relationship and when you are...
Being in the same room with someone whilst you work away does not make for quality time. That is just existing in the same room, sharing oxygen and nothing else. We are talking about phones off, the world shut out, undivided attention over here. That is what your partner needs, so when he or she says ‘you do not have time for me, you do not spend any time with me,’ they are asking that you be present when you are spending time together. The...
Written by Nandi Shona The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a book that was written by Gary Chapman in 1992. Since then, it has revolutionized the way relationships work. In simple terms, it just explains how people are different in how they want to be loved. It’s basic stuff. Take the question: What makes you feel relaxed after a long, tiring day? You are bound to get different answers. “A hot...
Someone said, having someone with this love language can be a blessing and curse. I saw where they were going with this, do you? A blessing because I mean, just get a gift and curse because WHERE IS THE MONEY!? Yes, I laughed. Gifts can be purchased, found or made so do not hesitate to date someone whose love tank fills up when they are gifted. This takes me to a day on twitter, a girl tweeted that she got her boyfriend a watch and he asked her...
Fabulous people! Where you at my people? Happy birthday to my mentor who was born in this very month. You are truly appreciated… Now let me undress you during the people. Here we go! • They are funny. Listen if you want a good laugh just go in search of a September if you don't laugh then you are the problem. Their sense of humor is amazing. • They are the definition of truthful. Lying is a very hard task for these people. They speak the truth....
"Having sex during pregnancy is healthy!?" In my mind having sex during pregnancy was taboo (silly me, I know), with weird assumptions of sperms making the child blind or it being poked during intercourse. Sex is however beneficial to both mother and baby. It is perfectly safe and can be done in a comfortable way for both you and your partner. Here are 5 health benefits of staying sexually active during pregnancy: Weight watch A half an hour...
There was a time when I was home alone and I had gone out into town for some errands. And as I was getting into a kombi (taxi) two men played major tricks on me and I didn't realize they were stealing my phone. It was only when I had settled and wanted to pull it and...
It can't be described in words yet here I am typing this blog post. Heartbreak is one thing we all have experienced, whether it's losing a loved one to death or just going your separate ways with someone you thought you would build forever with. Of course the pain...
Sbwl sbwl! Tis’ the season to sbwl (this is short for ‘sabaweli’ which means ‘craving’) a life partner seeing as valentines is around the corner. Speaking of, what you are you doing for valentines day? As a little girl, I thought love was so easy to find, I blame the...
I was having a conversation with my brother the other day and he said to me, ‘we are all family, we need to check on each other and love each other.’ This coming from a person who years ago really minded his alcohol more than the people around him, I felt the growth...
Dealing with the internal mental things that go on with finding out you were cheated on. Self doubt, low self esteem, bargaining etc Who am I kidding, we all have plenty stories about this. We could write books and start podcasts about these experiences. The one thing...
Do we really need friends? It's an important question and I find myself thinking about it more than I should actually. It feels silly to want friends as an adult, let alone to go out looking for friends, right? I agree but I don't. A social life is important, having...
Previously on Becoming uBu, we have been talking about infidelity, catch up on the last two blogs here and here. This one is for the ladies because we all know how men handle this. Men will welcome both the women, they will shower them with compliments, laugh with...
This may not be a fun read for someone who is actually cheating right now. Yikes! But let's have the conversation anyway, why are you cheating? I love hearing people's thoughts, so do share your theory on why you think people cheat. I remember being in high school and...